Monday, June 8, 2015

Cycle #6 since d&c

Well, another cycle is over with, and we aren't pregnant this time either.

But that's okay. It will happen again, although I'm actually a little bit scared to get pregnant this month. I would be due within a day or two of March 17. The only scary thing about it is that it would be my third March baby. It sounds cool, but I'm weird, and things like that make me nervous since we lost one of those two. Audrey was due March 13, 2013, and born on March 20. Sunny was due on March 13 as well. This is the only cycle where I feel a little but like not trying, just because of the superstitious part of it..."I lost my last March baby". We will still try, though, but I am going to actually take my RE's advice and not chart again, since all three cycles that I've been pregnant, I didn't chart (but I've done that in non-pregnant cycles a couple of times, too).

It is also incredibly odd thinking that almost exactly a year ago, Sunny was conceived. It really doesn't feel like it was that long ago. I can't believe it. Soon it will be the one year anniversary of losing Sunny, and then it will be Hope's due date a couple of days later. It is really hard thinking that most likely, I will not be pregnant for this due date, either. Even if I am, I will be scared to death of losing that baby too, because it will be so early. Late June is going to be a bit hard, and all of July is going to be terrible for me. All I can do is hope that I do get pregnant so that I will have something else to concentrate on, something positive.

We are now on cycle 6 since losing Hope, which is the longest it has been since trying to conceive this second take home baby. That is obviously preferable to conceiving in 3-4 cycles and losing it, but it still makes it really hard. It isn't exactly easy knowing your miscarriage rate is high, and you can only get pregnant once, maybe twice a year if you're lucky. All we can do is hope that the next pregnancy sticks! If not, we will definitely be doing the genetic karyotyping and then fertility meds.

This month, I've started royal jelly again and we are taking soy isoflavones yet again. This will be cycle #5 on soy isoflavones. I took them the month I got pregnant with Audrey, two cycles between losses last year, and in February and March of this year. Nothing happened any of those four times, but...maybe it will work again this time! Fingers crossed!

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