Thursday, June 4, 2015

RE visit #2

Our appointment yesterday did not go as I'd hoped. Our nurse apparently did not relay our message to the doctor about not doing the genetic karyotyping, because when we got there she said "tell him yourself". He was not happy with us. He didn't seem to understand that we want to concentrate on the issues we have found in the last few months. He didn't seem interested in just getting me pregnant to see if treating two different things does the job.

I do not understand doing the karyotyping. If it comes back and says that our losses are probably chromosomal (which he thinks they are) then the only choices are to keep trying and hope for the best (which we are already doing) or do IVF with PGD, which we cannot afford (as if IVF wasn't expensive enough, the PGD costs even more). Therefore, we will be in the same boat: keep trying and hope for the best. The test is also expensive. If it was relatively cheap, I would probably still do it.

When we said we probably weren't doing the karyotyping right now, he pretty much just told us to leave and come back whenever we get pregnant again, which is absolutely frustrating. We are coming up on a year and a half of trying now (it has already been a year and a half since we quit birth control) and I am mentally just done. I don't know how people do this for years and years. I know part of me hurts so fully because of our babies being gone, and that won't go away. The other part of me is hurting because I seem to be in this situation where I get less help because of our losses, and I feel like I'm slowly being pressured into IVF, which I just don't feel is necessary. I've been told three times now that my doctor pushes IVF too fast, too soon, after being told pretty much only good things before seeing him. Hence my anger and confusion now. Every doctor has mixed reviews, but wow, I did so much research on him beforehand and nobody wants to say anything negative about a doctor until someone says they are dissatisfied.

I've now been told several times to switch to the other doctor in the practice, by a few women who had to do the same because of my doctor doing similar things to them. This is aggravating for me, because while this is the first RE we have seen, it is the fourth doctor in the past year. I hate jumping around. But apparently this other RE has had a few losses herself.

At this point, my husband and I are just ready to get pregnant again and pray that it goes well. I'm so scared, but at the same time, I am ready because I'm tired of sitting here. We can't stay pregnant until we get pregnant. He can't seem to look past my losses and help in that department, so it will likely be a while before we get pregnant.

One more thing that annoyed me was that his nurse also didn't let him know we wanted a progesterone draw yesterday. Or maybe she did, and he didn't agree. I brought my chart as she said to do, and he almost rolled his eyes at it. He told me he quit using those twenty years ago and to stop charting. He offered no insight on why my cycle looks anovulatory or if it even is. He started talking about something else. Then later when I brought up my low progesterone again (7 at 7dpo a while back) he said it is low but probably isn't really low because I probably wasn't 7dpo, because charts are wrong. Back then my charts were always readable and my luteal phase was the same with AF coming the day I knew she would be here. So no help with him on my progesterone, which means the only treatment we are getting is "take a lot of folic acid" (which is also the incorrect thing to tell someone with MTHFR, so instead of a lot of folic acid, I'll be taking methylfolate).

He also said all of my OAR results were good except for my FSH, which was "really high" for my age, but didn't mention what that meant or if there was something I could do.  He had me bring my RPL results too, and he told me last time that he would order anything they missed to see if I needed heparin, and I agreed to that. Yet he read them and said it was missing some things he would have definitely ordered, and when I asked him if he wanted me to get any more, and he said "Nah" and shrugged, then mentioned the karyotyping again. That made me feel really good. So now we are also in this boat again of not knowing if I need heparin/lovenox.

To say I'm not happy would be quite an understatement. I really am losing hope.

1 comment:

  1. It sounds like maybe that doc needs to retire. His bedside manner sounds horrible, and his level of respect for his patients sounds even more horrible.