Friday, August 14, 2015

oh my ovaries.

Ohhhh my goodness.

I am in SO much pain today! My ovaries are going to explode (or at least that is what it feels like)! I honestly hope today is ovulation day - that would be amazing as we timed it PERFECTLY! I used to have o pains every cycle (although never this painful), but the past three cycles I haven't. Which really makes me wonder if I've been ovulating like my doctor said, because three months ago, the first cycle I didn't have it, FF said I didn't ovulate. The past two cycles I haven't temped. Maybe I have been ovulating, just not very strong? Who knows!

What I do know is:

I feel like I am releasing a golf ball instead of a miniscule egg. It is ridiculous! Also, if I am indeed ovulating today, it is amazing because it is actually cd14! I have never ovulated this early since I began charting in 2011. How awesome is that!? Hopefully my temperature jumps up tomorrow.
In other news...

Yes, people, there is a downside to being open about infertility and loss. Getting really sick and tired of people these days. I see you over there. It always hurts me to see people not even trying to understand the infertility and loss communities. Don't say we are having pity parties because we still talk about our losses months later. Don't say we are negative because we've had negative things happen to us and that is how we see life *right now*. Comments like this show that you have not even attempted to understand my situation. Not only is it clear from your words, but it is clear because none of the people making comments about me EVER ask how I am doing. They all asked within a week or so of my losses, but that's it. After that, we should be totally over losing our babies, and we shouldn't even be upset about general infertility issues. "It's not a big deal, if I were you, I'd just go with the flow and relax"...right? No. You have no idea what you are talking about at all. You don't understand, so you should just stop. Quit judging and making assumptions and do a bit of research, have a little bit of sympathy, and then work on empathy.

Sometimes I really regret being open about my issues. Everyone now thinks they can say anything they want about it because I've shared so much about it. Well, all I can say, is if you can't be nice or understanding during this crap, don't expect me to be bff's with you when (hopefully) it is all over for me. It doesn't work that way. If you're an ass once, you're an ass for always.

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