Tuesday, September 29, 2015


You guys!!!

There is a tiny, adorable baby in my uterus. Every time I look at this picture, I just melt.

Someone pinch me! I AM SO EXCITED!!! This might really happen! I could have a baby next spring, in my arms! I could be feeling flutters in a month or two! I could be buying baby clothes around Christmas time. Audrey could really be getting a little brother or sister.

My baby measured 8 weeks and 4 days today with a due date of May 6th. This is two days further along than my ovulation estimation and one day further along than my "pregnancy test" estimation (a darker bfp than what I expected at 8dpo). In other words, absolutely perfect. We still didn't get to hear a heartbeat, but we saw the heart beating away and he said it looks as healthy as can be. We get to listen to the heartbeat next time but I will be trying my doppler a few times before then just to see if I can get lucky.

I just cannot get over this. I was so nervous this morning, but my baby is growing and looks perfect. I love it so much. I kept myself a bit detached but today that all changed, so everything better go good from here on out! I'm in love!!!!

Thursday, September 24, 2015

{Almost} 8 week update

So, last week, I went ahead and called my OB because I was worried.

He told me to come in for an ultrasound, but we really didn't learn much. It went okay. I really don't know what exactly to think or feel, so I am really trying to stay on the positive side of things.

The good news is that there was a baby there, and that baby had a heartbeat. The not so great news was that the baby measured 6 weeks and 2 days when I should have been measuring 6 weeks and 4/5 days (ovulation says 6w4d, but I got a pretty good line at 8dpo that would have shown up at 7dpo for sure, so I've been thinking 6w5d and an early implantation). My OB also did not measure the heart rate, so I don't know how that was, which sucks because that was our worry with Hope. At 6w4d, she measured 6w6d and her heart rate was low at 109.

My OB said the measurement had room for error this early, and another two friends told me there was a 5 day window of error and that any tiny difference in placement of measurements could put it a day or two off, easy. Also, my OB did it, and not an ultrasound tech, so there's that. I'm so hoping that we go in next Tuesday and that baby measures around 8w3d/8w4d, which is where I should be that day, with a super great, healthy heart rate!

I so, so want this little miracle rainbow so badly!


Some faint nausea here and there on most days
Food cravings and aversions
Tender breasts
Pulling and a few cramps a week
Shooting pain while sneezing
Discomfort after big meals
LOTS of burping
Frequent urination

Here is our sweet baby, and my "bump" which is obviously mostly bloat, lol:

Try not to pay too much attention to the mess in my belly photo, this is our junk room right now while we declutter the house, so literally everything is just thrown in there right now!

I hope and pray that I have an absolutely wonderful update next week for you all! Come on baby #4!!!!

Monday, September 14, 2015

Still Pregnant

Today marks 6 weeks and 2 days.

(6 weeks, 3 days in a few hours).

So far, so good. I've had a couple of things that have scared me, and one thing that still is, but I'm trying to put it in the back of my mind. It's only two weeks until my ultrasound, and I'm going to go into that expecting the worst so that maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. An awful way of going about it, but probably the most wise decision. I've still tried to keep myself from becoming too attached to this pregnancy. I know I will still be upset if I miscarry, but maybe I won't become depressed if I don't let myself get attached.

I still have very tender boobs, and my nausea is closer to the nausea I had with Audrey than with my other pregnancies. I have had quite a few food aversions in the past week too. My blump (bloat bump) is already outrageous. I always look pregnant early on because of this.

Last week I had a terrible sinus infection. I stayed in bed all week long with a pounding head, no energy, and nausea. I felt awful. Besides the nausea and some fatigue, I'm feeling much better this week!!!

Hopefully I can update again soon, with GREAT news!

Thursday, September 3, 2015

4 weeks 5 days

I am trying so hard to be positive about this pregnancy. It seems like one minute I'll feel very positive about it and the next minute I just feel super negative. It's hard after losses. People keep telling me "Oh stop thinking like that" and "Just don't think about it". Nobody saying these things to me would be able to take their own advice in my situation. I can't stand it when people act like I'm being stupid for worrying.

I decided to compile a list of good/bad things so far.
The Good:
~ My tests are still very dark.
~ I'm cramping some almost every day.
~ My boobs are insanely sore, more than the last two pregnancies.
~ I've gagged at smells for the past two mornings.
~ I've felt some "almost" nausea for about a week now, mostly after eating. Not what I would call sick yet.
The Bad:
~ I haven't actually felt nauseous. By this time with Audrey, I was VERY sick. With my first loss, I never got sick, and with my second loss, I had very faint nausea.
~ My dark tests are very, very dark, which most people don't see as bad, but with my last pregnancy, it was.
~ My last test was a bit more faint than the exact same brand of test I took two days prior.
~ My progesterone that I am taking could be giving me the symptoms that I do have.
Everyone keeps telling me not to compare pregnancies, but there is really no way not to. I will say that this pregnancy feels much more like my pregnancy with Audrey than the other two did, except for the lack of morning sickness. Everyone keeps telling me that not everyone gets morning sickness, and I know that, but in *my* experience, with *my* pregnancies, I've only carried to term when I was sick.
I hate that my ultrasound isn't until I am 8 weeks and 3 days pregnant. Still SO far off. I hope that I make it to then, and I hope everything looks great then. I keep hoping that I wake up to morning sickness, but so far it hasn't happened yet. Hopefully soon. I really am trying to stay positive, but if I don't get sick in the next few days I'm really not going to have much hope for this pregnancy at all. I'm doing my very best not to get attached.